Well I guess it is time to say goodbye to some old and dear friends. Goodbye Wendy, Ronald, the Colonel, Popeye. Yes I am cutting the cord to the meat wagon and I'm going vegetarian again. I was vegetarian for 4 years after my 1st marriage ended and I moved to SE Kansas. Why did I stop?
Welllll.........
It was a normal evening, dinner of mac & cheese and some TV in my cabin when 3 men in radiation suits burst in thru the front door. A terrorist cell had developed a miniature nuclear bomb and it was placed in a cheese burger and only my DNA was able to disarm it. OK too Tom Clancy.
It had snowed for 8 straight days. All my food in the pantry was gone and I was sure I was going to starve. I could not get out to my car with 3 feet of snow everywhere. Suddenly there was a scratching at the door. I pulled the door open and to my amazement there was a St. Bernard dog but instead of a keg of alcohol under its neck, was a bag of McDonald cheese burgers. Knowing there was no food value in the burgers, I threw them away and ate the dog. Okay okay too Jack London and Steven King.
It was late, almost midnight. I had watched enough TV to make me sleepy. Before I had gotten out of my chair to retire for the evening, there was a knock on the door. Since I knew very few people in the area, and none who would be knocking on my door at midnight, my paranoia meter was maxing out. I surveyed the area for a possible weapon, and found nothing. So I girded my loins and answered the door. When in burst 3 men in radiation suits and a St Bernard, sorry I couldn't help myself. To my surprise the uninvited guest was a scraggly scrawny woman. Figuring her car had broken down, I asked if I could help her. She said she just got off work, and say my lights were still on. She continued that she raised organic rabbits, but could not kill them and was looking for someone to butcher them for shares. Someone had told her I might be able to help her. I politely told her that I was a vegetarian and could not kill either. We talked for another 5-10 minutes in my doorway so I invited her inside to talk. Over the next 2 hours we discussed politics, religions, spiritualism, Porky Pig, science, and many other topics. It was obvious this woman had a brain and the scraggly and scrawny features faded away. Over the next few months we got together to talk or go out for a pizza. I had 2 choices either I convert her to vegetarianism or return to being a carnivore.
35 years, later here I go again. I miss fried chicken, prime rib, BLTs, and Monday night taco burgers already. I tried one of the impossible Whoppers and it was surprising like beef. Now if they could come up with a plant substitute that tastes like bacon I will be in Hog heaven.
Until next time the Beggars Apprentice.
Welllll.........
It was a normal evening, dinner of mac & cheese and some TV in my cabin when 3 men in radiation suits burst in thru the front door. A terrorist cell had developed a miniature nuclear bomb and it was placed in a cheese burger and only my DNA was able to disarm it. OK too Tom Clancy.
It had snowed for 8 straight days. All my food in the pantry was gone and I was sure I was going to starve. I could not get out to my car with 3 feet of snow everywhere. Suddenly there was a scratching at the door. I pulled the door open and to my amazement there was a St. Bernard dog but instead of a keg of alcohol under its neck, was a bag of McDonald cheese burgers. Knowing there was no food value in the burgers, I threw them away and ate the dog. Okay okay too Jack London and Steven King.
It was late, almost midnight. I had watched enough TV to make me sleepy. Before I had gotten out of my chair to retire for the evening, there was a knock on the door. Since I knew very few people in the area, and none who would be knocking on my door at midnight, my paranoia meter was maxing out. I surveyed the area for a possible weapon, and found nothing. So I girded my loins and answered the door. When in burst 3 men in radiation suits and a St Bernard, sorry I couldn't help myself. To my surprise the uninvited guest was a scraggly scrawny woman. Figuring her car had broken down, I asked if I could help her. She said she just got off work, and say my lights were still on. She continued that she raised organic rabbits, but could not kill them and was looking for someone to butcher them for shares. Someone had told her I might be able to help her. I politely told her that I was a vegetarian and could not kill either. We talked for another 5-10 minutes in my doorway so I invited her inside to talk. Over the next 2 hours we discussed politics, religions, spiritualism, Porky Pig, science, and many other topics. It was obvious this woman had a brain and the scraggly and scrawny features faded away. Over the next few months we got together to talk or go out for a pizza. I had 2 choices either I convert her to vegetarianism or return to being a carnivore.
35 years, later here I go again. I miss fried chicken, prime rib, BLTs, and Monday night taco burgers already. I tried one of the impossible Whoppers and it was surprising like beef. Now if they could come up with a plant substitute that tastes like bacon I will be in Hog heaven.
Until next time the Beggars Apprentice.
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