TRICK OR TREAT
SMELL MY FEET
GIVE ME SOMETHING
GOOD TO EAT
I can remember Halloweens past where my brother and I , and sometimes other neighborhood kids, would be out for hours trick or treating. We had our grocery bags and our costumes and high hopes for lots of candy bars, which was the gold standard. Our disguises included cowboys, pirates and ghosts, and our mission - hit as many houses as we could before we had to go home. There was always one or two ladies who would take the time to make caramel apples, bless their hearts. Unfortunately I didn't like caramel apples, so they always went on the trading block as soon as we got home. Candy corn and jelly beans also were considered as trade bait for Hershey, Snickers, and 3 Musketeers, which were the premiums, in my opinion. We did not have to worry about sexual predators or razor blades in our candy, just a sugar hangover for the next few days. As adults, Halloween meant surviving Haunted houses. I always felt it was a waste of $5, but it was what we did. I saw a story on the news now about a house in Tenn. where you had to sign a 40 page waiver and have a permission slip from your doctor, have proof of health insurance, take a physical and a drug test before you could enter. It meant that you would be subjected to various forms of terror including waterboarding and other forms of torture for 4 hrs. If you made it for the 4 hrs without uttering the phrase to end your ordeal, you would win $20,000. Apparently now one has been able to endure it yet, and there is a 25,000 person waiting list to try.
I have a good idea for scaring you to death. Tie you to a chair and make you watch the news channels for 4 hours straight. Lets see - we have a president that thinks he is king, a Congress that is totally dysfunctional and can't even talk to each other, a national debt that could enslave our grandchildren, a climate disaster which may cause famine, floods, and agricultural mayhem, forest fires that are so pervasive that the power company is shutting off power to a mass of its customers, children in cages at the border, priests sexually assaulting children, doctors sexually assaulting athletes, and Burger King chicken nuggets. If that doesn't scare you to death, you are already gone.
Until next time The Beggar's Apprentice
SMELL MY FEET
GIVE ME SOMETHING
GOOD TO EAT
I can remember Halloweens past where my brother and I , and sometimes other neighborhood kids, would be out for hours trick or treating. We had our grocery bags and our costumes and high hopes for lots of candy bars, which was the gold standard. Our disguises included cowboys, pirates and ghosts, and our mission - hit as many houses as we could before we had to go home. There was always one or two ladies who would take the time to make caramel apples, bless their hearts. Unfortunately I didn't like caramel apples, so they always went on the trading block as soon as we got home. Candy corn and jelly beans also were considered as trade bait for Hershey, Snickers, and 3 Musketeers, which were the premiums, in my opinion. We did not have to worry about sexual predators or razor blades in our candy, just a sugar hangover for the next few days. As adults, Halloween meant surviving Haunted houses. I always felt it was a waste of $5, but it was what we did. I saw a story on the news now about a house in Tenn. where you had to sign a 40 page waiver and have a permission slip from your doctor, have proof of health insurance, take a physical and a drug test before you could enter. It meant that you would be subjected to various forms of terror including waterboarding and other forms of torture for 4 hrs. If you made it for the 4 hrs without uttering the phrase to end your ordeal, you would win $20,000. Apparently now one has been able to endure it yet, and there is a 25,000 person waiting list to try.
I have a good idea for scaring you to death. Tie you to a chair and make you watch the news channels for 4 hours straight. Lets see - we have a president that thinks he is king, a Congress that is totally dysfunctional and can't even talk to each other, a national debt that could enslave our grandchildren, a climate disaster which may cause famine, floods, and agricultural mayhem, forest fires that are so pervasive that the power company is shutting off power to a mass of its customers, children in cages at the border, priests sexually assaulting children, doctors sexually assaulting athletes, and Burger King chicken nuggets. If that doesn't scare you to death, you are already gone.
Until next time The Beggar's Apprentice
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