"OKAY  MURDOCK, THERE ONLY TWO WAYS YOU'RE COMING OUT OF THERE. EITHER WITH YOUR HANDS UP, OR ON A STRECHER."

" ALRIGHT CRENSHAW, I'M COMING OUT, SO TAKE A CHILL PILL AND PUT YOUR BULLETS AWAY. "

 

WE INTERUPT THIS PRODUCTION OF "BADGES DON'T LIE" TO BRING YOU THIS BREAKING NEWS. A SEMI TRUCK FULL OF BEER HAS OVERTURNED ON I-35, AND THERE IS BEER ALL OVER THE HIGHWAY. YOU ARE ADVISED TO TAKE AN ALTERNATE ROUTE BETWEEN 95TH AND 87TH STREET. AND NOW BACK TO CHANNEL 5'S PRODUCTION OF "BADGES DON'T LIE."

"ALRIGHT CRENSHAW DO YOUR THING YOU FILTHY COPPER."

"WAIT WHERE DID CRENSHAW GO?"

"HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? THERE IS  A SEMI TRUCK FULL OF BEER OVERTURNED ON     

THE INTERSTATE EVERYONE HEADED THAT WAY"

WE INTERUPT THE PRODUCTION OF "BADGES DON'T LIE" TO BRING YOU THIS REPORT FROM NEWSSHIP #5.

"THIS RODNEY FLIPSTEIN WITH NEWSSHIP #5 AND LET ME TELL YOU THERE IS BEER ALL OVER THE ROAD. THIS HAS CAUSED THE ROAD TO BE SHUT DOWN FOR 5 MILES IN BOTH DIRECTIONS, AS PEOPLE ARE PARKING THEIR CAR ON THE 

HIGHWAY AND RUNNING UP TO CHECK ON THE ACCIDENT. I HAVEN'T SEEN SUCH AN OUTPOURING OF GOODWILL AS EVERYONE IS RUSHING TO SEE IF THE DRIVER IS OK. WE HAVEN'T HAD A TRAFFIC TIE UP LIKE THIS SINCE THE SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM HAD A FLAT TIRE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. BACK TO YOU JIM.  

JIM, JIM, ARE YOU THERE? APPARENTLY WE HAVE LOST OUR CONNECTION WITH THE STATION. SO I'M GOING TO SEND IT BACK TO OUR PRODUCTION OF... I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD THAT THERE IS NO ONE LEFT IN THE STUDIO. SO I'M GOING TO SEND IT BACK TO OUR WRITER. JOHN, JOHN ARE YOU THERE?

I GUESS WE WILL TEMPORARILY GO OF THE AIR. I'M GOING TO LAND NEARBY AND SEE IF THE DRIVER IS OKAY."

"OVER AND OUT."

UNTIL NEXT TIME

STAY SAFE AND SANE

THE BEGGAR'S APPRENTICE