I'VE CAUGHT A COLD FOR CHRISTMAS
BUT DON'T FEEL BAD FOR ME
I GET TO STAY IN BED
ALL DAY AND WATCH TV

USUALLY MY STOCKING IS BURSTING
WITH CANDY, NUTS AND SUCH
BUT NOW IT IS FULL OF TYLENOL
AND VAPORUB THAT I DON'T LIKE MUCH

WHILE YOU'LL BE AT FAMILY GATHERINGS
ARGUING OVER POLITICAL ISSUES
I'LL BE LYING IN MY BED
WITH A BOX OF KLENNEX TISSUES

YES I'VE CAUGHT A COLD FOR CHRISTMAS
BUT I'M GLAD AS ODD AS THAT SOUNDS
BECAUSE I GOT NETFLIX
AND I'LL PROBABLY LOSE 10 POUNDS

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL 
AND ONE FINAL BIT OF WISDOM

THE BEGGAR'S APPRENTICE






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