I HAVE CROSSED OVER TO A NEW DIMENSION OF PERSONAL INCOMPETANCE, KNOWN AS THE ELECTRONCS TWILIGHT ZONE. 

ABOUT 3 WEEKS AGO MY MODEM STOPPED TALKING TO MY COMPUTER, WHICH MEANT I WAS UNABLE TO GET ON THE INTERNET. AFTER HOURS OF TRIAL AND ERROR, I DISCOVERED THAT ONE OF THE LAN LINES WAS NOT WORKING AND THE ETHERNET CORD TO MY MAIN COMPUTER HAD DIED. SO I ORDERED A NEW MODEM AND ETHERNET CORD, AND SWITCHED OVER TO MY BACK UP COMPUTER WHICH THE MODEM STILL WORKED WITH. IN A MATTER OF DAYS, MY BACK UP COMPUTER DECIDED IT WANTED TO GO ON VACATION, AND LEFT ME. SO I HAUL MY MAIN COMPUTER INTO THE BEDROOM AND HOOK IT UP THERE. WITHIN THE WEEK THE NEW MODEM AND CORD ARRIVED. I HOOKED THEM UP TO MY COMPUTER TO TEST THEM OUT AND THEY BOTH WORKED FINE. SO I HAUL MY MAIN COMPUTER BACK OUT INTO THE LIVING ROOM, AND LIFE WAS BACK TO NORMAL, OR SO I THOUGHT. MY COMPUTER WAS WORKING , BUT NOW MY ROKU WOULD NOT WORK. AFTER MUCH ANGST AND SEVERAL YOUTUBE VIDEOS, I REALIZED THAT THE NEW MODEM HAD A NEW PASSWORD THAT HAD TO BE PROGRAMMED TO THE ROKU CHANNEL BEFORE IT WOULD WORK. SO I TRIED BOTH OF THE PASSWORDS ON THE MODEM AND THE LITTLE ROKU DEVICE DID NOT LIKE EITHER. SINCE I WATCH A LOT OF NETFLIX, AND IT IS THROUGH THE ROKU DEVICE, I HAD TO REHOOK UP THE OLD MODEM AND OLD PASSWORD TO WATCH NETFLIX. THAT MEANT THAT MY BACK UP, TO MY BACKUP COMPUTER, WHICH HAD SAT PATIENTLY FOR OVER A YEAR IN ITS BOX WAITING ITS TURN, WAS SET UP SO I COULD SWITCH THE LAN LINE AND DOWNLOAD SOME BASIC FILES. BUT NO! IT KEPT TALKING ABOUT FLOPPY ERRORS AND BATTERY STRENGTH BEING LOW. THE COMPUTER WAS BOUGHT ON EBAY OVER A YEAR AGO AND WAS SUPPOSE TO BE WINDOWS READY OUT OF THE BOX. SINCE I WAITED SO LONG TO TRY IT, I COULD NOT RETURN IT. LAST WEDS. MY MAIN AND ONLY USABLE COMPUTER STARTED ACTING FUNNY. IT WOULD OPEN A FILE OR LINK MULTIPLE TIMES. AFTER TRIAL AND ERROR, I REPLACED THE WIRELESS MOUSE WITH ONE THAT HAD A TAIL AND THAT SEEMED TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. ON THURSDAY I WORKED ON THE COMPUTER SOME AND THEN TOOK A NAP. WHEN I GOT UP MY COMPUTER WAS OFF. I TRIED PRESSING THE POWER BUTTON, NO RESPONSE. I TRIED AGAIN AND AGAIN SAME RESULT. I CHECKED THE PLUG INS,  ALL WERE GOOD. I CHANGED THE POWER CORD, NO LUCK. NOW I'M GETTING REALLY UPSET. I'VE ALREADY LOST 2 COMPUTERS, AND I NEVER DOWNLOADED ANY OF MY NEEDED FILES. AFTER PUSHING THE START BUTTON ANOTHER 10 TIMES, AND MAKING SURE THE CORDS WERE TIGHT, I CAMED TO THE CONCLUSION THAT MY COMPUTER HAD COMMITTED HARI KARI. AFTER A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THE DEPARTED, I HEADED TO TOWN TO PICK UP THE ITEMS I WON ON EQUIPT BID AUCTION, AND THEN ON TO WAL MART TO SEE IF THEY HAD AREASONABLY PRICE COMPUTER TOWER. USUALLY I WOULD BUY A REFURBISHED ONE FROM EBAY, BUT MY CELL PHONE DECIDED TO QUIT ALSO. THERE WERE NO REASONABLY PRICED TOWERS, BUT THERE WAS A LAPTOP THAT FIT MY BUDGET, SO I BOUGHT IT. AFTER DINNER I TOOK THE NEW LAPTOP OUT OF THE BAG AND SHOWED THE DEAD COMPUTER THE UNOPENED BOX. LIKE A HOPELESS FOOL, I HIT THE POWER BUTTON ON THE DECEASED COMPUTER, AND IT SPRANG TO LIFE. MY COMPUTER HAS A NEW NAME - JEALOUSY. IT HAS WORKED FINE SINCE THEN AND I TOOK THE NEW LAPTOP BACK AFTER ORDERING A REFURBISHED ONE ON EBAY, FOR BACKUP. IT HAS JUST ARRIVED AND NOW I WILL TRY TO USE A FLASH DRIVE TO SAVE MY FILES.

THAT IS ENOUGH PROBLEMS FOR THE REST OF THE DECADE, BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. LAST NIGHT MY NETLIX ACCOUNT WAS HACKED BY SOMEONE IN SOUTH AMERICA, ALSO MY FACEBOOK MAYBE HACKED, SO IF YOU GET ANY WEIRD EMAILS OR POSTINGS FROM ME. IT IS NOT FROM ME.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT MY FRUSTRATIONS. 

UNTIL NEXT TIME

THE BEGGAR'S APPRENTICE